Haruhi-chan 11-14 QC
March 31st, 2009
Yet another late night for me. I don’t think I’ve gone to sleep before 2 since… Friday?
Srs work.
Anyways, like last time, open QC for whoever wants to help out. Look for typos, mistimed lines, badly worded sentences, translation errors… whatever! I’ll fix these up and send them to the encoder late Tuesday (he’s gonna be late getting home… :3)
QC Files: (right click, save target as)
In your comment, please specify which ep. Example QC in the first comment ^_^
EDIT All done! Thanks for the huge amount of notes. I’m not sure if I just failed, or if you guys are overly picky… but geez, a lot o_O
16 Responses to “Haruhi-chan 11-14 QC”
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Episode 11:
02:11 – typo “shoudl” should be “should”
03:12 – The line starts late
Episode 12:
Nothing
Episode 13:
03:13 – You forgot to do that box
Episode 14:
Nothing :-O
Sorry I won’t be able to check for translation errors… but everything else I can check for! =D
Episode 11:
03:23 – typo. “Cieling” should be “Ceiling”
Episode 12:
Nothing seems wrong.
Episode 13:
02:05 – I don’t know is this is a error or not but… the sentence “Most likely, the pumpkin and the cloak and stuff are for him to wear”… should it be something like: “Most likely the pumpkin, cloak and stuff are for him to wear.”
02:36 – The word “it” is there twice.
03:00 – typo. “Tsurya’s” should be “Tsuruya’s”
Episode 14:
01:51 – Not too sure if this is a error but… the sentence “And suddenly the Asahina cup ballon art competition began” could make more sense if it was changed to: “And suddenly the Asahina cup ballon art competition has begun”
Ok that’s all I could find. Anyone else?
Other than what the others have commented…
Episode 13:
3:30 – “rotti” should be “roti”, I believe. Also..rognionade doesn’t seem to be a word.. i thought the closest thing id think it would be is “rocinante” which is a brand of wine..but not too sure >_< (and if yuki is referring to a wine, it couldnt be wrapped in it)
Episode 14:
2:12 – “That a day like this would come some day… Hadn’t crossed my mind!” “As if a day like this would come some day…” sounds like it’d make more sense.
Episode 11:
2:28 – I get a weird sound pop, I don’t know if it’s my computer or not.
2:57 – “You just suddenly stuffed me in, and it surprised me.” Don’t sound right to me. replace “and it” with “which” so it says “which surprised me.”
Episode 12:
0:38 – “Therefore, you men shouldn’t just receive them and…” “Show some effort!” This wording bothered me with kadokawa’s translation. Take out that “and” so it would be “Therefore, you men shouldn’t just receive them…” “Show some effort!” If you read them together as a whole sentence with the triple dots meaning a continuation it flows more nicely.
Episode 13:
2:46 – “Pickled Kelp” Snack name is a little late so it doesn’t follow the box properly.
Episode 14:
0:32 – “Uh, Kyon, that’s not the face of a main character.” Like kadokawa’s translation, this line bothered me as well. “Uh, Kyon, that’s not a face the main character should have.” or “Uh, Kyon, a main character shouldn’t make a face like that.” sound better to me at least.
1:57 – Koizumi’s line “I, the red-balloon-Koizumi,” should be “I, the Red-Balloon-Koizumi,” since you have it capitalized on the sign I think it should be the same in the text as well.
Thats all I can find problems with. Even though it might be just me.
Episode 14:
The text on the screen at 2:25 and 2:30 says “Only twisted”
Now that you mention it they do say the exact same thing.
http://i253.photobucket.com/albums/hh67/phoenix923/Other/sameword.jpg
If you can TL that maybe you can help them on Nyoron 07.
It’s nitpick time…
Episode 11:
0:53 – “Eh? You were actually going to do it if it was possible?” I think ‘were possible’ would flow a bit better in the context.
1:03 – “Why don’t we all make something we come up with?” Putting a ‘that’ between ’something and ‘we’ sounds a bit better.
3:24 – ‘Cieling’ should be ‘Ceiling’.
3:39 – “Geez, you don’t expect me to forgive you for a cake, do you?” That line is quite awkward, and I don’t really have any ideas for how to fix it. The best solution I have is change ‘for’ to ‘because of’, but that still doesn’t sound quite right.
3:55 – “Alright, just this one” That should be ‘just this once’
Episode 12:
0:15 – “…has a motto of participating in all special occasions” This is another awkward one. I think you should change ‘of participating’ to ‘to participate’.
0:42 – “Too unspecific” The timing is slightly late.
1:20 – “…a giver rather than the receiver.” The ‘a’ and ‘the’ in this sentence should be the same word for consistency. Either ‘a giver rather than a receiver’ or ‘the giver rather than the receiver’ would work.
2:08 – “Imagine, hosts.” The timing is a split-second too late.
2:10 – “Aren’t hosts just perfect for entertaining women?” The timing is a bit too late.
2:43 – “…I’m Kyon, the ‘charming general person’!” The bit ‘charming general person’ should be capitalized, as it’s a title.
2:46 – “I’m Itsuki, the ‘crimson super ball’!” Same problem as above.
Episode 13:
0:18 – “…give me all the information on what you know of Halloween.” This is a bit redundant, perhaps ‘give me all the information you have of Halloween’ would be better?
0:36 – “Where you even listening?” The word ‘Where’ should be ‘Were’.
2:33 – “Somehow along the way…” Using ’somehow’ in this context is awkward, perhaps ’somewhere’ would be better?
2:46-2:47 – The ‘Pickled Kelp’ text lags behind the package.
3:00 – In the text box, ‘Tsurya’ should be ‘Tsuruya’.
3:31 – “…wrapped in rognionade…” I have no idea what ‘rognionade’ is…
3:31 – “..sherry and carrot puree” The word ‘puree’ is misspelled, the first ‘e’ has an acute accent on it. The correct spelling would be ‘purée’.
4:07 – “Sleep!” The timing is a bit late.
Episode 14:
0:11 – ‘episode 11′ is in the wrong font.
0:32 – “Uh, Kyon, that’s not the face of the main character.” This is… odd. I think it should be changed to something that phoenix923 suggested.
1:23 – “Ah, what a basic lesson Asahina-san taught us.” This should probably read ‘Ah, what a basic lesson Asahina-san has taught us’.
2:01 – “And suddenly the Asahina cup balloon art competition began.” This should probably read more like ‘And, suddenly, the Asahina Cup Balloon Art Competition began.’
That’s all I’ve got, I hope it was helpful!
The YouTube community looks forward to your next videos!
Episode 11
– Not that bad but maybe you’ll want to fix it.
00:14 – “Oh, you’re back.” Shouldn’t this be the normal “Welcome home!”
00:27 – She seems to mention doki-doki: Exciting and danshi(something like that) – boys/guys
00:54 – Tenses, were, was?
00:57 – “…chocolate left over” -> “…left over chocolate”
01:04 – Rephrase? Sounds awkward.
01:27 – Missing comma? “However, people…”
02:59 – Unnecessary comma?
03:01 – Treated -> Treat?
03:16 – I’d – I’ve?
03:25 – Ceiling.
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Episode 12
00:37 – Replace the “and” with “but”
00:42 – Kind of fast.
01:22 – “a giver” followed by “the receiver”. Both should have “a”?
01:27 – “anyways”?
01:49 – Change dot to comma?
02:01 – “dressed” -> “changed”. They’re already dressed
02:08 – “imagine”. Koizumi says “image”. So they should have the image of hosts.
02:27 – I hear josei – woman. TLC, if it hasn’t been already? It’s probably something like “women killing smiles”, don’t trust me on that though.
02:57 – I think she’s only scolding Kyon “baka-Kyon”.
03:00 – “Get rid” – “Get out”. It should be fine though.
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Episode 13
00:19 – I don’t think she says information. Maybe: “Anyway, tell me everything you know about Halloween”
00:29 – Koizumi says something like, “Sou, deshou ne” – Translated it means “Let’s see” or something like that. It definately doesn’t mean “I’ll pretend not to know anything”. He says that in his next sentence though so combine those and TLC the whole thing…
00:35 – Where -> Were
00:37 – Do? Make it up? TLC?
02:33 – it it
02:39 – A minute ago it was candy? okashi
02:46 – TS gone awry!
02:58 – TLC? Leave this?
03:00 – Tsuruya
03:10 – TS gone awry!
03:32 – What’s rotti and rognionade? Notes on websites upon release? TLC?
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Episode 14
01:01 – Haruhi says “prepare yourself”(kakugo shinasai, something like that) but it’s not translated.
01:04 – Dreadful? Terrible might fit better, imo.
01:51 – “Asahina cup balloon art competition” Competition and cup? also that began -> has begun
01:59 – “red-balloon-Koizumi” -> “Red-Balloon-Koizumi” to fit the sign?
02:07-02:15 – Sentence order and sentences sound Engrishy. Haruhi’s second sentence doesn’t make sense to me either. I must be missing something.
02:32 – Chain mine? WTF?
02:33 – TLC? I believe they’re saying something like “I don’t know how to make anything” but I guess it’s the same meaning.
02:39 – “won ten points”? Especially since Kyon says got points.
Episode 11:
1:42 – I don’t really like “That could almost be an ornament.” It doesn’t flow nicely to me. But I can’t think of a better word.. Maybe “That could pass off as an ornament.” Hmm…
3:10 – There’s only one spring. “Now that I think about it, why is there a spring here?”
3:25 – should be ‘Ceiling’
3:56 – should it be “Alright, just this once.” instead of ‘one’ ?
Episode 12:
0:32 – I think you can change ” it is ” to ” it’s ”
1:42 – Kyon saying ‘Oh my God…’ is rather out of character. Especially since Haruhi is sort of considered a ‘god.’ Perhaps a simple ‘What the..?’ would do.
2:08 – Is it ‘ Imagine’ or should it be ‘ Image’ ? Maybe I’m missing the Japanese translation..
0:19 – Should be “Tell me everything you know about Halloween.”
0:37 – Should be something like “We’ll just wing it” or “We’ll make it up as we go along.”
1:09 – what’re is not a proper contraction
2:04 – body model? hmm anatomical dummy is more accurate but its too long
2:32 – you have ‘ it ‘ twice.
2:59- spelled Tsuruya’s name wrong
3:09 – should be something like “It’s too dangerous to go out alone.” or “It’s dangerous to go out alone.”
Episode 11:
00:15 – Maybe typeset the “Stare~” thing?
00:26 – I think “chocolate making” should be hyphenated since it’s a single adjective for “meeting”.
00:37 – I believe the correct term is “life-sized”, not “life-size”.
00:43 – “Tsuruya-san” instead of just “Tsuruya” would be better, since her name has always had a “-san” attached to it, and Mikuru does say “Tsuruya-san”.
01:03 – Grammar nitpick: don’t end sentences with a preposition. I think “Why don’t we all make something that we create?” would work and convey the same meaning.
01:26 – There should be a comma after “However”.
02:29 – I don’t think that anyone besides Haruhi would be involved in the planning of this so it should be “I” instead of “We”.
03:24 – Typo: “Cieling” -> should be “Ceiling”
03:49 – There should be a comma after “Of course”.
Episode 12:
00:42 – I think “vague” would be better than “unspecific”.
02:08 – Uneeded comma?
Episode 13:
00:19 – I think “know about” would be better than “know of”.
00:35 – Typo: “Where” -> should be “Were”
01:30 – Maybe “I’m done”, since Mikuru was the only one carving the pumpkin?
02:14 – Switching the words “looking” and “seriously” makes the sentence sound slightly better.
02:32 – Typo: “it it to” -> should be “it into”
02:50 – Might sound better if it’s “…but I guess it’s okay…” instead of “…but it’s okay, I guess…”
03:00 – Typo on the sign: “Tsurya” -> should be “Tsuruya” (and with a “-san”)
03:32 – Don’t think “rognionade” is a word, since Googling it gets zero results, but I don’t know what else would work there. And also, if possible, you could make “puree” have an accent on the first “e” (purée)
Episode 14:
00:43 – I think “not too hard to use” would be better than “not so hard to use”.
00:57 – “that” between “thought” and “I’d” would make the sentence sound better.
01:17 – Line appears a bit late.
01:51 – Should be a comma after “suddenly”.
Sorry for the double post, but is there a reason why Wordpress gets rid of empty lines in the comments? I put an extra line after each episode’s comments to make it easier to read, but they’re gone, as you can see above.
Episode 14:
1:42 – Them should refer to the noun in the previous sentence which would be the “Balloon Art Contest.” So ‘them’ doesn’t refer to balloons. Maybe if you wrote “We’ll decorate Mikuru-chan’s tomb!’ then you can avoid this.
1:50 – “Asahina cup Balloon Art Competition” sounds plausible.. but rather long. Perhaps just “Balloon Art Competition”
2:30 – Chain Mine? hmm maybe “Balloon Chain” or chain mail? Chain mail sounds pretty close but i did hear the n.
2:50 – maybe.. “We worked hard, didn’t we?”
I noticed something else:
Episode 13:
3:25 – In the sign “(handheld)” should be “(Hand held)”. at least that is what Microsoft word says it should be…
Oh my.
Starting to fix up the scripts now. QC closed
MSG me on IRC if you happen to find something huge that was missed by chance. oO